New year, old reminder

Happy New Year, 2019!

Here we are again at the start of a brand new year! Each year in passing I maintain hope that people will feel the need and desire to delve deeper to their core, questioning every little bit along the way. I never give up that hope, because the path makes us happier, and more resilient.

Quite a few of you, myself included, had a 2018 filled with twists and turns. It's one thing to meet ourselves reflected in others. It sometimes only results in observations that we brush off, and we move on with a, "I am who I am!". It's completely different to feel that what we previously did to operate and survive in the world and our relationships no longer works, nor feels satisfying. It can feel brutal, and prod us to go deeper. 

Please misunderstand me correctly. I hold no disregard for the, "I am who I am!" exclamation. We need to stay true to who we are. I would like to correct it, however. What most people mean by this is rather, "I am what I am!". Believe it or not, yes, there is a difference. We are what we are as the result of conditioning and experiences, and we co-create situations and relationships that support this reality moving forward. We learn what to do and how to be so that we'll be accepted, respected, liked, loved. Whether we strive for positive or negative responses, it doesn't matter. We argue, please, fight, and define ourselves all the way to the bitter end. Whatever it takes. 

The 'what' of what we are is like a box of outdated/used items stored in the closet that we can't quite discard. We keep them around, just in case, because we know them. They feel good, they are comfortable. They are judgments, ideas of how things should be, and how relationships should operate. They are ideas that we or others should behave in a certain way, look a certain way, whatever. Achieve this, have that, be this...

We know it mentally, but we go blind to it. We lose sight of that which serves true purpose. We forget that we can do something about it, and be that light that also encourages others to be courageous.  Absurdly, courageous in something that should be a 'given' all along.

Definitions upon definitions, and we pile on even more definitions of how people and things should be in our worlds. We should rather be inspecting each item in that box, and discarding them one by one.  

WHO we are.

At heart, we're all those same little kids that bounce around looking for others to have fun and play together with. If I'm wearing a red sweater and you're wearing a blue sweater, it doesn't matter. If you lisp and I stutter, it doesn't matter!

All of the differences can hit chords of vulnerability that keep us reeling in thoughts of, "Is this okay for you". It can be hard.

The minor inch shift in mentality. Discarding judgments and pre-conceived notions helps us to meet others in an open frame of mind with a wish to get to know them, and learn something new.

At heart, we just want to be accepted and loved for the spirits that we are in essence. Such a gift it is when someone wants to hang around, because you feel good to be around. Despite the fact that you both do things completely differently. It's a feeling. A feeling of acceptance and appreciation. 

The passion of play is also found in this essence. The type that keeps you in the sandbox with your playmate, hands dirty and hair full of sand, building that beautiful castle with buckets and shovels until you're called into the house at dusk, long before you're ready.
....and you agree to meet the next day to continue. 

The type of play that revolves around busy little hands, laughter, and talk of 'what' you're building rather than your lisp, and my stutter.

We enter a new year on an old reminder, because I never lose hope that we'll all eventually arrive. Let us begin this new year, well-grounded. It's a good place to start.

Stay safe and warm wishes,
Tamera Daun

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